03-31-93
to: J S BACH Refer#: NONE
from: DAVE WILLIAMS Read: NO
Subj: MAINTAIN WRANGLER LAREDO Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
-> It's my second car and since it's used, I don't have a user manual
-> :~(
Didya ever wonder what becomes of those things? Owner's manual, jack,
spare tire... the manual would only be good as a souveneir, modern jacks
usually only fit the car they came with, and what good is one inflatable
Oldsmobile temporary tire to someone who just bought a Dodge van?
I can just see some old geezer in his garage, looking at his collection
of auto memorabilia. "Ayup, forty-two cars in the last sixty years, an'
I got the spare tire, jack, and manual fer every one o' 'em. Them ol'
Hudson jacks gonna be worth plenty someday, ayup..."
dave.williams@chaos.lrk.ar.us
22 May 93 03:40 EDT
hotrod@dixie.com (The Hotrod List)
Subject: old photo
I was flipping through a 1962 Hot Rod Annual a few minutes ago. On
Page 49 there's a most interesting photograph, purportedly showing a
tubular chassis.
On close examination, yes, this is a tubular chassis. Looks like a
4-tube job with some smaller-diameter triangulation tubes barely
visible. We can only see from the rear up to the firewall - the car is
mid-engined, and for the photo to be from 1962, it'd be a VERY early
attempt at a mid-engined car. I'm not sure if Cooper was building their
first open-wheel mid-engine cars in 1962 or not.
The engine is a small block Chevy, with the cast aluminum Corvette
valve covers and bolt-on cast aluminum Offenhauser or Moon breather
vents. A big magneto hides the carburetion from view, but there are
three rubber fuel lines heading behind it; probably a 3x2bbl setup.
What looks like a regular front oil fill comes out just behind the
magneto; looks like someone made it fit the old crankcase breather port
in the back of the block. There are tube headers, but they're rather
laughable by modern standards - looks like four pieces of 1.5" or so
pipe about 5" long, curving up to meet a log pipe of about 2" diameter,
with no collector. The log manifold comes just barely behind the valve
covers.
Back in the 1970s Smokey Yunick advertised his fancy cooling system for
the small block Chevy, taking water from the front of the cylinder heads
instead of through the intake. Whoever built this car beat him by 15
years or more - except for coming out the back instead of the front, the
layout is identical, right down to the positioning of the ports.
There's a conventional aluminum Chevy bellhousing. There's a big hole
cut where the clutch fork goes, and a long, curved arm sticking out,
connected to a cable. Cable clutch. I converted a Ford housing that
way once. Worked just fine. There's what looks like a 3-speed Saginaw
trans center section bolted to that, with an about 1/2" thick aluminum
plate, a maybe 4" long casting of some sort (tailshaft support?) which
is bolted to a Halibrand quick-change. It's a pretty long arrangement
to stuff into a mid-engined car, but it looks like it would work OK.
The Halibrand is equipped with inboard disk brakes. Solid rotors,
maybe 10" diameter, but discs - that was rare in 1962! The calipers are
enormous and appear to be fixed, four piston types. I regret I cannot
identify their source. There are hefty-looking U-joints and driveshafts
heading out past the edge of the picture - there has to be either a
spline or a donut at the far end, because there's a big De Dion tube
arching back around behind the Halibrand. There's a Watts link with the
roll center apparently at hub centerline, very nice bracket work. The
fore/aft location is by smallish-looking parallel links with rod ends,
going from the uprights up to what looks like just ahead of the
bellhousing flange.
Suspension is by coilover shock, also unusual in 1962. There's a sway
bar running atop the chassis with long driving links, everything mounted
in rod ends, very normal ...er... modern looking. The brake lines are
evidently routed INSIDE the upper right frame rail. There's just a
little stub of line visible, and the rubber brake hoses coming off that
to the calipers.
The car is apparently self-starting. You can just barely see the curve
of a starter in front of the bellhousing.
The firewall looks like it's aluminum, maybe three feet wide. On the
right hand side, hanging outboard of the chassis, we can see the curved
shape of what looks like a streamlined fuel tank. I can't tell if it's
a single seater or two seater. There are a couple of brackets sticking
up randomly, apparently to support bodywork.
Every nut I can see has a flat washer under it, and the nuts are the
Nylok type. Even the shocks and sway bar mounts.
Lots of things aren't the way we'd do them today, but for 1962 this car
was awesomely advanced. 31 years later, I wouldn't feel embarrassed if
I'd built it. The workmanship is impressive.
Not bad for "How Much Detail Can You Extract From One Picture" eh?
Alas, I have absolutely no clue as to what this car is! What long
wheelbase, mid-engined, full-bodied, Chevy-powered racing sports cars
ran in 1961-1962? I've never even seen a picture of one of Lance
Reventlow's Scarabs - could this be a Scarab? It's approximately the
right year.
----------
chaos.lrk.ar.us!dave.williams (Dave Williams)
dave.williams@chaos.lrk.ar.us
22 May 93 13:46 EDT
hotrod@dixie.com (The Hotrod List)
Subject: 1962 Hot Rod Yearbook - Blast from the past
There's another interesting photo in this book. It is supposed to
be of a Scott fuel injection system. The car is a twin engined
rail - about half the cars in the book are two or four engined.
The thing has two small block Chevy motors with enclosed chain-driven
superchargers. I bet those old cast aluminum chain cases would be
worth a pretty penny at the nostalgia meets. Looking at the engines,
we notice short chromed Chevy valve covers that'd get pocked and dented
by any modern high-lift camshaft, zoomies with tubes maybe 5 inches
long, and magnetoes mounted on the front of the intake. Eh? Wait
a sec... what's that peeking off to the left of the blower drive?
A round canister with "AC" plainly visible... the engines are turned
around backwards, taking the final drive off the crank snouts, and the
flywheel flanges are driving the blowers, which are reversed on the
intakes. Faaar out. I wonder what they do for flywheels?
There are also a couple of shots of Potvin kits. These are regular
6-71 blowers mounted ahead of the engine, driven straight off the
crank. They suck in one side, then blow out the other. A casting
accepts two 3" or so diameter pipes running back to a special, very
low intake manifold with two cast-in logs to accept the pipes. Looks
like it would be very easy to intercool, but you would have a heck of
a time fitting it in anything streetable. They looked very tuff,
though.
Another interesting piece is an old Enderle tunnel ram. A tunnel
ram in 1962? Yep! Only... where you'd normally see the plenum, there
are a pair of huge 2.5 or 3" butterflies, one for the front four
cylinders, one for the back. It looks-a-verra-nahss. Unfortunately,
the butterflies are on a longitudinal shaft and open right-to-left.
Looks like intake flow would be biased heavily to the left bank for
anything except full throttle.
There's a photo of Mickey Thompson working on his four-engined
Bonneville streamliner. He has a flat-top haircut and no shirt, and
at least two largish tattoos. I never knew MT had tattoos. Lots of
Moon and MT cast aluminum fuel system pieces, keg type fuel tanks,
fuel tank pumps - these old timers used a bicycle type pump to pressurize
their fuel tanks. The Safety Nazis would have convulsions at the
thought now.
You know how the direct-drive water pumps are the hot thing for
the Chevy roundy-pounders now? There's a photo of a beautifully
polished cast aluminum Lehman direct-drive pump on the front of a
small block Chevy. Eat your heart out, Circle Trackers. How about
those fancy Oberg screen type oil filters? There's a photo of an
identical filter from Eelco, circa 1962. Lots of Eelco parts for
Chrysler Hemis, Oldsmobiles, etc. - this was before they went strictly
VW, I guess.
Lots of photos of multiple carb installations with the ubiquitous
"fuel blocks". Most of 'em used clear plastic tubing and those sleazy
round wire spring clamps. Some car show photos, showing fuel and oil
cans in trunks, chromed tire irons, and tool boxes. Also button-tufted
Naugahyde radiator core covers for when you're at the car show, cars on
display while half-hidden by angel hair, how to build your own removeable
hardtop (covered in white Naugahyde, with pleated panels), and more.
Oh, remember the craze a couple of years ago for spraying kandy colors
over your chrome parts for the "tinted look"? Cal Custom was selling
that stuff in 1962. Looked just as stupid back then too. Oh, and those
killer Moon spun aluminum wheel covers? People used to paint spider
webs on them, but I never knew some people painted 'em over like
horrible Easter eggs. Yuck.
----------
chaos.lrk.ar.us!dave.williams (Dave Williams)
Newsgroup: rec.autos.tech
Date: 12-07-93 (18:14) Number: 913
To: ABEREGG,KEITH R Refer#: NONE
From: DAVE WILLIAMS Read: NO
Subj: TITLE Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
-> before 1977; a bill of sale is all that is required. In fact,
-> federal law only requires states to issue titles for vehicles
-> manufactured after 1963,
I believe you have been misinformed. I just happen to have my 1981
copy of the Code of Federal Regulations, Title 49 on hand, as I'm
getting ready to order a fresh one. CFR 49 contains most of the
Federal regs on automobiles, and there's no mention of titles there.
In fact, some states didn't even require titles until the 1970s.
Titles are purely a state concern.
Manufacturers have to provide a Certificate of Origin to a US buyer,
but that's all. The state accepts the CO and generates a title. The
titles, of course, exist to generate revenue.
-> motorcycles. In both cases I was unaware of any checking of the VIN
-> numbers to see if they were stolen. In addition there was no vehicle
-> inspection. The easiest way to get a title for a vehicle bought on a
-> bill of sale
This type of stuff is different in every state, and presumably in the
territories. In my experience the yoyos at the DMV will tell you
practically anything, usually wrong. Fortunately AR will give you a
copy of the state motor vehicle regulations for free, though you have to
drive to the Capitol to get it. I've found most DMV flunkies can be
intimidated simply by slapping the book down on the counter.
Newsgroup: rec.autos.tech
Date: 08-28-93
To: Joseph A Fernando
From: Dave Williams
Subject: Re: Why not galvanize???
-> The question is whether one would actually WANT a car to last 20
-> years!!
Hmm. Good question. Considering three of our five vehicles are over
20 years old, I'd say yes. And the newest thing we own is an '84 Mazda
pickup.
-> For one thing it would probably need at least one engine change or
-> rebuild,
Not necessarily. In fact, all three are still running their original
engines. The Mazda pickup had to be align-honed and have the head
rebuilt after the previous owner split a radiator hose and ran it until
it seized, but I really can't fault Mazda for it. The cretin drove it
back and forth to work for FOUR MONTHS stone dry, and it was still
running when I gave it a new home and a little TLC.
-> the car would be a prehistoric monster with very old technology by
-> the time it is 20 years old!!
Eh? The pistons go up and down, the wheels go 'round. It worked fine
in 1960, and it still works just fine today. Will your car be running
33 years from now?
-> Thirdly, a car that is 20 years old or more
-> will "LOOK" 20 years old or more!!
Hm? What's wrong with that? Lots of good looking cars more than 20
years old. You go from dealer to dealer today, you can't tell a Chevy
from a Nissan without checking the VIN plate. Nobody is going to
mistake my 1960 Chevrolet Bel Air for anything other than what it is.
-> I'm writing this from experience because I drive a '74 Ford LTD
-> Brougham.
That's not a car. That's a whale on wheels. Now, imagine letting the
crusher have the LTD, and trading up to a '67 Falcon Sprint with the 289
High Performance and four speed...
Newsgroup: rec.autos.tech
Date: 08-30-93
To: Karl Hansell
From: Dave Williams
Subject: Re: Why not galvanize???
-> |> secondly, with the fast pace of technological improvements and
-> refinement, |> the car would be a prehistoric monster with very old
-> technology by the time |> it is 20 years old!!
> Like the "fantastic" inovations as suspension parts made out of
> _pressed_ steel parking brake drum _inside_ braking discs (the list
> could be very, very long) ? Please name one _significant_ inovation
> from the last 20 years. (No, I will _no count motorized seat belts
> :-))
Uh... sure, there have been LOTS of significant innovations in the last
20 years. Air bags that explode in your face and cause you to crash.
Non-greasable, non-adjustable wheels bearings in some cars. Plastic oil
pans and valve covers, which probably won't decompose before the car is
paid for. Plastic door handles that break right off when it's cold
outside. Digital dashboards which are harder to read than old needle
guages, and cost a fortune to replace. Computers that crap out at
random intervals. Fifty-seven different kinds of radio instead of
Chrysler and everyone else. "Impact absorbing" bumpers that cost five
times as much to replace as a plain old steel bumper. New forming
processes which allow manufacturers to stamp sheet metal so thin you can
practically leave thumbprints in it. Interlocks so you can't get the
goddamned ignition key out unless you put the shifter in reverse. Ten
zillion oddball headlights, most of 'em with shitty light patterns and
too much glare to oncoming traffic, but there's nothing you can replace
them with. Catalytic convertors that run hot enough to cause grass
fires if you park in high grass.
Improvements!
Newsgroup: rec.autos.tech
Date: 11-16-93
To: AARON RICHARD BANSEMER
From: Dave Williams
Subject: Oil weight. How important is it?
-> How important is the weight of oil in a car?
I dunno. My truck holds about six US pounds of oil, plus filter. Any
less than that and the dipstick says it's low.
-> My car uses 20w50 but I have a hunch the shop put in 10w30.
-> My car is now dead. (cracked head or burned valve).
-> Could this be the root of my problems?
No.
Date: 09-30-93
To: Jonathan R. Lusky
Newsgroup: rec.autos.tech
From: Dave Williams
Subject: Re: Experience with small cars/old large cars
-> What the heck are you running anyway? The P-port refernce was just
-> as a reference point... you said minor intake and exhaust work in a
-> previous message so I took that to mean street ported. You aren't
-> making 270hp out of a streetport 13B, at least not normally
-> aspirated.
Maybe he's working on advertised horsepower:
"tuned" muffler and tailpipe - 30 HP
fancy air cleaner - 15 HP
miracle ignition widgit - 40 HP
power pulley - 100 HP
15 minute port job - 100 HP
synthetic oil - 15 HP
hot pink plug wires - 10 HP
hot pink distributor cap - 10 HP
fuzzy dice - 55 HP
dyno testing:
1) someone else claimed to have built a similar but different
motor that made 270 HP, so his should too
2) had it to 110 mph and plenty of pedal left
3) made 136 HP on a real dyno, so he had to "correct" the
figures to 270 HP
4) stock 12A makes 100 HP; all that money he spent ought to be
worth 270 HP easy
Newsgroup: rec.autos.tech
Subject: Re: Maximizing Pollutants?
From: dave.williams@chaos.lrk.ar.us (Dave Williams)
Date: 29 Oct 93 08:23:00 GMT
-> >Any tips on how to maximize pollutants on an '85 Toyota
-> >Corolla Gt-S? A performance boost would be a bonus but not
-> >the real priority.
> You might want to be more specific. This covers a lot of territory.
> IF you want to max out unburned HC, for instance, injecting raw fuel
> or kerosene into the exhaust manifold will work. so what do you have
> in mind?
I dunno what the original poster wanted, but I have this vision of the
Smog Goomers shoving the probe up the exhaust pipe and asking him to
start the car. So, with an evil grin, he turns the key and quickly dons
his handy war surplus gas mask while the Smog Goomers progress from
freaking out to gasping and choking, then trying to find the exits by
feel as huge billowing clouds of smoky hydrocarbons darken the bay...
smoke oozes from around the doors and windows, and someone calls the
fire department, who sprays the shop with tons of water and foam. They
roll the door up, and the original poster is sitting in his car, wipers
on to clear the fire foam. He rolls down the window and says cheerily,
"Did I pass this time? Huh? Huh? You want to check it AGAIN?"
Newsgroup: rec.autos.tech
Subject: Re: Mustang/Camaro news
From: dave.williams@chaos.lrk.ar.us (Dave Williams)
Date: 31 Oct 93 15:16:00 GMT
-> I don't waste my time making sure my capitalization is
-> correct - in fact I usually don't even use it. I don't waste my time
-> making sure my sentence structure, punctuation, or spelling is
-> right either.
What you type is what people see, here on the net. If you've spent
your formative years in the USA, you have had or have access to a
free public eduction, at least enough to be able to read and write
in a comprehensible fashion. You have no excuse for typing like a
feebie. If you're from outside and US and are not yet proficient in
English I'd be willing to cut you a little slack, but you have not
indicated anything like that.
Y'all cain't spayul, cain't tawk, don' do no grammer, and cain't
Capitolize. Closer examination of your original message shows you don't
know what you're talking about, either. So why don't you do us all a
favor, log off, and go back to watching "Beavis and Butthead" like the
rest of the losers?
=======================================================================
can you help me...help me get out of this place?...slow sedation...
ain't my style, ain't my pace...giving me a number...NINE, SEVEN, EIGHT
(Nazareth) XJ900 TURBO at 15psi DoD# 978 KotFAQ
=======================================================================
From: chaos.lrk.ar.us!dave.williams (Dave Williams)
Date: 20 Feb 93 01:26 EST
hotrod@dixie.com (The Hotrod List)
Subject: Re: Hot Rod Lincoln
-> I'm not sure on how F.O.R.D. is on this
Say, partner - we Ford fans are takin' issue wit ya.
That's Ford - and smile when you say it. That's old Henry's last name,
which he put on his cars, like the Chevrolet brothers, Feruccio
Lamborghini, Walter P. Chrysler, Gottleib Daimler, or Soichiro Honda
among others. It's not an acronym like R.E.O. or F.I.A.T. or S.A.A.B.
or B.M.W.
PS: I read an interview with Mazda's CEO a few years ago. They asked
him what "Mazda" meant. He said it didn't mean anything, they had just
made it up. I guess they'd never heard of Ahura Mazda or Mazda lamps.
PPS: The word "Camaro" doesn't mean anything at all. Chevy PR took a
lot of flak for that back in the late '60s.
From: dave.williams@chaos.lrk.ar.us (Dave Williams)
Newsgroups: rec.autos.sport.tech
Subject: Re: Lif induced by body of a car (HELP)
Date: 9 Apr 95 07:56:00 GMT
-> So please, Mr. Lamar, when you refer to wind tunnel testing in
-> the future, show some respect and intelligence in your comments.
That's right, Brian! Tell him off!
Obviously "Paul Lamar" has never written any papers, magazine articles,
or books, nor would he be in any way considered an authority on
automotive matters, or even Hot Wheels. He should get down on his knees
and grovel in respect to you, who have popped up out of nowhere with a
virtually content-free posting, citing no references or credentials of
your own.
Newsgroups: rec.autos.sport.tech
10-02-93 (17:13) Number: 16534
FRANK MALLORY Refer#: NONE
DAVE WILLIAMS Read: NO
Subj: COATES SPHERICAL VALVE EN Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
Subject: Coates spherical valve engine head
-> I don't understand why they need "twelve actual valves", if the
-> shafts themselves perform the valving function.
Maybe they're "actual valves" like "actual miles", whatever those are.
Cars apparently accumulate "actual miles" about the time they're sold.
I find it confusing, however. My metrology handbook shows nautical
miles and statute miles, but I can't find "actual" miles anywhere.
rec.autos.tech
Subject: Re: Coates spherical valve engine head
denber.wbst147@xerox.com (Michel Denber)
4 Oct 93 16:05:36 GMT
Reply-denber.wbst147@xerox.com (Michel Denber)
"Maybe they're "actual valves" like "actual miles", whatever those are.
Cars apparently accumulate "actual miles" about the time they're sold.
I find it confusing, however."
What about "original miles"? I see that a lot in the classifieds. Does that
mean the owner never drove over the same road twice?
- Michel
21 Sep 1993 14:38:00 +0000
dave.williams@chaos.lrk.ar.us (Dave Williams)
Subject: Re: Throttle Enhancer
gnttype@srvsn2.monsanto.com
-> like the add I saw for "directional" speeaker wires (that need to be
-> "broken in electronically) for the bargain price of $10.00 per foot
-> (4 lengths required, 2 for each speaker for 2 speakers 8). In other
-> words, it sounds like snake oil.
Hey! Hey! Don't forget the special herbal octane booster and
chakra-balanced PROM chip! A little homeopathic oil additive, and of
course a Moon-rayed quartz oscillator crystal for the computer... all
this and MUCH MORE, just email your VISA numbe@#$*_)~!~ =
(#@ !` ~
PAGE FAULT
NO CARRIER
Newsgroups: rec.autos.sport.tech
11-25-93 (08:56) Number: 20412
VIC MOLLETT Refer#: 20394
DAVE WILLIAMS Read: NO
Subject: Re: Pickup tariffs (was: Re: GM 305 vs 307 V8 engi)
-> But how many people really _need_ that much power in a small truck??
-> Not many.
ME! MEEEEEE!!!
-> I would suspect. Too many people feel that they can have whatever
-> they want, [...] or a 300hp engine in their Ranger,
If it's available, and I want it, I'll buy it. I don't have to have a
reason, and I certainly don't have to justify myself to the likes of
you.
-> those engines provide! There are far to many "well I'm just one
-> person, my fuel drinking vehicle won't impact anyone else" people in
-> America.
The price is on the pump. Nobody's bending my arm to buy it. If I feel
like feeding my 14-mpg '60 Chevy, I will. If I don't, I'll take my
35-mpg Mazda. If I don't want to do that, I'll take my 50-mpg
motorcycle.
-> BTW, I have never owned a vehicle (including trucks) with more than 4
-> cylinders
Bully for you. Maybe you have a "50 Club" bumper sticker too?
Newsgroups: rec.autos.sport.tech
12-14-93 (17:59) Number: 21908
JEFF SCOTT Refer#: NONE
DAVE WILLIAMS Read: NO
Subj: RE: GMC TYPHOON WANTED Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
Subject: Re: GMC Typhoon Wanted
-> I didn't say I liked insurance, but I think their statistics are
-> pretty accurate.
I hope nobody tells you the terrible truth about the Tooth Fairy.
Newsgroups: rec.autos.sport.tech
12-14-93 (18:19) Number: 21909
ANDREW HAU KIN TSUI Refer#: NONE
DAVE WILLIAMS Read: NO
Subject: Re: Japanese copycats
-> The job of releasing new product information belongs to the public
-> relations department of a corporation, NOT the research and
Technical papers, such as are presented to the SAE, IMechE, or other
professional organizations, are not written and released by PR
departments. Not yet, anyway.
-> to look into the history of the engine, you will see that almost all
-> applications have been in sport or race cars. One good reason for
-> this is the higher fuel consumption relative to a similar
-> displacement internal combustion engine using a form of the Otto
-> cycle. Another good reason
Hello? Is anybody home? The Wankel may look funny, but it's still the
good old intake-compression-power-exhaust Otto cycle, just like the
engines that go "boing, boing, boing."
-> Japanese, American, and European manufacturers, the concensus has
-> been that the Lexus products did have a slightly higher quality than
-> the others.
That's your admittedly unsupported opinion. You've also failed to
define your particular interpretation of "quality", so you're going
around in circles.
-> Not true. The new product is actually more malleable than any sheet
-> metal currently being used by any auto manufacturer. It is a
-> development solely by Nippon Steel and Nissan. While HSLA has been
-> licensed for production by Nippon Steel, it is a separate product.
Malleability is easy enough to get with plain old SK or AK steel. I
bet once the truth it out, Nippon Steel's "new" steel is going to turn
out to be a fancy new PR package for an old idea.
-> values. Typical shot-peening processes use shot of Rc 48-50 at
-> velocities of about 50 m/s. The new process uses Rc 62-65 shot, at
-> velocities around 90 m/s.
??? When you're peening, you use whatever shot and velocity are
required to get the surface compression you want. So they're claiming
to shoot faster, harder shot - so what? There's been just a little bit
of research done on the subject, which is pretty simple, after all.
-> Dave, I sense a great deal of animosity in you towards Japanese auto
-> manufacturers. Could you please state your reasons, valid or not, why
-> you feel this way?
You mean because if I'm not gung-ho Hail Nippon, I must be a jap
basher? With an RX7, a Mazda pickup and three Japanese motorcycles
licensed and running, I'd guess I'm not particularly full of animosity
toward Japanese automakers, who are pretty much like automakers
anywhere. Besides needing to re-evaluate your conclusions, you need to
have your animosity sensor recalibrated.
Newsgroup: rec.autos.tech
Subject: Re: Mustang/Camaro news
From: dave.williams@chaos.lrk.ar.us (Dave Williams)
Date: 31 Oct 93 15:22:00 GMT
-> That's true. Spelling checkers won't fix the problems that really
-> make you look illiterate, like break/brake (how often do you see that
-> one in this group?), pedal/peddle, there/their/they're,
-> sight/site/cite, etc.
Don't forget the net favorites, to/too/two and its/it's, and my own
favorite, a lot/alot.
-> Well, if you want to look like BIFF that's K00L with me, dood. It's
-> a free country (sorta).
dON'T FORGET TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS, BECAUSE IT'S K00L! aND START EACH
SENTENCE WITH A LOWERCASE, TO SHOW YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO FIND cAPSLOCK
AND HAVE TO TYPE WHILE HOLDING THE SHIFT KEY DOWN!!!!!!!! aND USE LOTS
OF EXCLAMATION!!!!!!!! POINTS!!!!!!!!!! AND [H [H [H CHARS!!!!!
posted to BIX on 09-09-93
Oddly, the part I *did* read has bothered me off and on for seventeen years, so the other day I picked up another copy and read it. This time I finished it.
This time around it was mostly boring. For 1968 it was rather prophetic - punk rockers with purple hair, a very accurate description of what are now called "street people" or "the homeless", small, cryogenic cooled supercomputers, individually programmed newsfeeds (an idea which keeps coming back), and something that closely resembled MTV. Brunner missed completely on a few things, mainly due to maintaining Sixties trendiness I expect - Malthusian catastrophe style population increases, horrible pollution problems, outlawing private automobiles due to energy and environmental problems, and nerve-wracking racial troubles. Racism was a big thing back in the '60s. Brunner's early-2000s America is not a nice place to live - even with Federally-funded freebie drugs (tranquilizers, downers, hallucogenics) and legalized marijuana, tempers are stretched to the breaking point due to the too-many- rats-in-a-small-cage syndrome. The passing of eugenics legislation denying parent permits to genetic defectives - down to webbed toes and color blindness - increases social tension. In fact, tension is so high the incidence of "muckers" - people who go berserk and kill until gunned down by the police - has become high enough the average person can be expected to be exposed to a mucker at least once per year. Cripes. When I was 15 the society Brunner outlined gave me the heebies so bad I couldn't even finish the book. In such a society I'd probably be a mucker myself. People in masses give me the cold chills. When I was reading Harry Harrison's "Make Room! Make Room!" was the first time I seriously thought of suicide. Fortunately, the giant population explosion sort of fizzled.
So, we have a fine background to build a story upon, anyway. Only... there really isn't much story. We have a pair of guys who share an apartment in New York City. One is white, a deep-cover intelligence officer with a Ph.D in genetics, who's basically watching for scientific developments in a fictituous country based on Indonesia. The other is black, a VP with a megacorp. During the first half of the book they don't do much as Brunner lays on the gloom with heavy strokes. In the second half, the spy is activated, retrained as a killer, and sent off to kill a scientist. The VP winds up heading an "enlightened self-interest" project to develop a backward West African country as a market for the megacorp's wares. We're batted back and forth as the viewpoint changes from the spy to the VP, who finally meet back up in Africa, and then the story ends. Ho-de-ho-de-hum.
Brunner wrote some *good* books. But "Stand on Zanzibar" isn't one of them. It wasn't one of his real stinkers, of which he had a couple, but it wasn't much. By the standards of the '60s, the book is gigantic - easily the length of four or five conventional SF books (word count and printing costs were a big thing back then), and maybe 30% larger than Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land" which had been printed two years before.
Some people are afraid of spiders, snakes, the dark, Boojum-Under- the-Rock, or whatever. If Brunner hadn't severely tweaked my own phobia I would probably have read the book, traded it in, and never thought of it since.
Dave2 rating: 2 on 1-10.
written 09-09-93
Silverberg is normally very terse. His stories normally have clearly defined plots and usually several subplots. In "Castle" he doesn't use one word where four will do, and spends a rather long book to tell what is essentially a short story. Interestingly, with all the bulk of words, we're told very little of Majipoor or its history.
Finally, there's little of Silverberg's normal originality. Majipoor itself is a direct copy of Jack Vance's Big Planet. Lord Valentine's character and troubles could be lifted directly from Marune, with a dash of The Anome. The genetically altered riding beasts also echo The Dying Earth. Fortunately, Silverberg didn't confine himself to copying Vance - the Lady's tiered continent appears to be a relatively direct takeoff of Philip Jose Farmer's World of Tiers.
Frankly, "Lord Valentine's Castle" has little to recommend it. Alas, it appears he managed to sell a sequel called "The Majipoor Chronicles" afterward, and I've heard of "Valentine Pontifex." I hope he decided to write like Silverberg instead of as a poor imitation of Jack Vance.
official Dave2 rating: 6 on 1-10.
written 09-09-93
Anderson's "Virgin Planet" is one of best of the old '50s style science-and-adventure stories. His "The Star Fox" is a genuine classic, arguably the best piece Anderson has ever written. It'd even make a fine movie.
Like many of the old masters, Anderson's output has degraded over the years. Many of his later works are extremely depressing, some are also poorly written. Anderson also tried a few "light" novels, but they seemed to be mostly oriented to some mysterious children's or teener market. Some of Anderson's novels were outright wierd, mostly- meaningless stories set in Norse mythology. He hasn't written anything good for twenty years.
I picked up his new (1990) "Shield of Time" yesterday. It's a development of his Time Patrol stories, some of which date back to the 1950s. This novel is a turkey.
It's hard to tell, but it reads like a sequel. The main characters discuss all sorts of interesting things that happened before the book's timeframe, but in *this* book, at least, nothing happens. It looks like two or may be three unfinished Time Patrol short stories got the old word processor treatment, and they're stuck together with bits of pieces of other stories - some tediously long - which have absolutely no bearing on the "main" story, such as it is. There really isn't a plot as such. The story ping-pongs back and forth between an experienced male time cop and a newbie female time cop. The male worries about his Lolita fixation. The female spends a lot of time avoiding getting laid. Their relationship is more than a little bizarre - the 1950s male, well over a century old, has all sorts of weird sexual and social hangups. The 20-ish female, from 1980s Southern California, is a breathless ditz who'd fit right into a romance story set in Victorian England.
Some stuff happens, some more stuff happens, we're treated to several deus-ex-machina appearances by superhuman futuremen to fit gaping holes in the story, and then it sort of ends without ever having gone anywhere.
I managed to finish it, but "Shield of Time" is strictly for avoiding boredom; it went right on the "to be traded" shelf when I finished.
official Dave2 rating: 3 on 1-10
written 09-09-93, posted on BIX "Flare" is a new book by Roger Zelazny and Tom Thomas. I don't know who Tom Thomas is, but I'm pretty sure he did most of the writing. I've been on a Zelazny kick for the last few weeks, and this stuff doesn't read like Zelazny. It ain't bad, it's just not Zelazny. Of course, little is, these days. I've accidentally purchased a couple of "ROGER ZELAZNY" books only to find they were written by clueless feebs, with their name in tiny letters and Zelazny's in enormous print above. They all stank. "Flare" is a basic SF-techno-social-thriller story in the tradition of, oh, "Lucifer's Hammer" or "The Andromeda Strain." It's set about a hundred years from now. Not a whole lot has changed, other than the existence of a lot of space stations and colonies, and permanent colonies on the moon and some other bodies. There's a big solar flare, and people have to deal with it in various ways. There's some "arty" writing which resembles some of Zelazny's poorer works during the 1960s, but the majority appears to be Thomas. Not that there's anything wrong with Thomas' writing, which appears to be workmanlike, it's just that this isn't a Zelazny book, and it's a subgenre I don't really care for. official Dave2 rating: 3 on 1-10